What bothers you the most? For me, it’s a lot of things. I have a lot to get done in a day and am reluctant to prioritise or plan my tasks. It is just that I don't know what my #1 goal is, so I weigh which is the biggest thing to be done and just do that, placing rest and entertainment as my second priorities. As a consequence of this, it's just hard for me to choose what I wanna do first.
I feel sad that I no longer do anything artistic like I used to, such as draw or paint pots, or make products that are so beautiful that they make me want to cry with happiness. Or hurry up and finish some Netflix series; I just want to see how it all turns out.
Or watch a lot of vintage films to understand how the world shifted. For instance, Titanic relates to a movie that actually explains an era, where the rich were dressed to the nines, the hardship and struggle faced by many immigrants, the ship wreckage, how they survived, and the in-between romance. However, the main point is that people talked a lot about that movie for a very long time as it was popular. It's a serious movie in the Hollywood industry. Of course, I've seen it. But there are many films that describe historical periods as well as the fashions, style of speech, aesthetics, and other aspects of those times. So that’s what I was talking about. Watch some of the era's most well-liked films.
Read some of the books on my list of must-reads, like Beach Read, Fix Her Up, It Happened One Summer, Love on the Brain, Mr. Wrong Number, Never Marry Your Brother's Best Friend, Red, White & Royal Blue, Stuck With You, Terms and Conditions, The American Roommate Experiment, The Spanish Love Deception, and many more. Tbh, I don’t know, but lately I've been reading a lot of cheesy romantic books that would, for real, never happen in my real life. So, I read them just to escape from the stupid real world I'm living in, so that I could live in that book forever. They give me hope to live, not because I could have a dreamy bf or something (tbh, it would be really cool), but because of the pleasure of being the person I want to be. Most of the characters in my books have the common feature of being sunny, enthusiastic about life, and doing something they like; it’s more like the female part, like all the men are morally grey people with brutal traumas (which is amazing; oh, now I sound paranoid). So, as we said, that's what I like to do, but sometimes I lack the willpower to read, and I just sit there wondering, When will I finish reading them and enjoy them?
I also think about listening to every song by Taylor Swift because I haven't even finished her discography due to my hectic life. On top of that, even though I have all the time in the world, sometimes it’s all about the mood. Perhaps it's that I wanted to listen to some Bollywood soundtracks, some indie records, or One Direction. So when this mood shifts, that’s when I listen to Taylor. And that takes up some time. And on some occasions, I didn't want to hear any new songs by her; I simply wanted to listen to the ones I had already heard again.
The fact that I wrote this entire article in small caps also annoys me at the moment. You see, I'm simply a whole mess.
I.AM.A.MESS.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
PS: I wrote this when I was sad.
thankyou.
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